I Got Engaged!
It's one of the worst things I've ever done to another person.
In The Free Section Of This Newsletter:
I’m burning my life down and starting from scratch. Again.
This - regrettably - means ending my designs on Loving County.
My new mission? Figuring out how weird guys like me actually “win”.
If I can become successful and happy, I can help others do the same.
Plus: I got engaged to be married to a wonderful woman
In The Paid Section Of This Newsletter:
People haven’t always been able to trust me to do the things I say I’m going to do (Loving County, for instance).
There are things I can do to mitigate this challenge I face in my brain and personality, so that people start to (correctly) see me as more reliable.
I share three simultaneous approaches I’m trying to become more trustworthy - someone people feel like they can count on following through.
I’ve blown my plans - and in many ways, my life - up over the last weekend.
I’m no longer trying to be a Realtor. Talked to my broker and called it quits. Feeling pretty okay about this - it clearly wasn’t a good fit. I’m no longer pursuing my plan to take political control of Loving County, TX. This one really sucks.
My plot to take power there was so exciting - felt so promising - and was something I pursued for so many months - to no avail.
At the end of the day, though - it feels like a coin flip whether I’d end up either dead or jailed for doing this - and another coin flip (generously) as to whether I could even succeed. It’s just not a risk I want to take at 29 years old, when I’m at an age which seems like a potentially crucial tipping point for me.
Look, I’ve done some remarkable things already in life, and it’s probably not great to discount that as pointless or worthless.
I went from being a basement dweller and two-time community college dropout - who wasn’t going to even graduate high school - to being a capable software engineer.
I went from being a software engineer to working as a Wall Street professional.
I went from being a Wall Street professional to building a social media following of more than 800k people.
And yes, I went from being a “Creepy virgin and incel” at 21 to dating a number of wonderful women and (briefly) being engaged to be married at 26.
But these past accomplishments aren’t enough to pay my rent, let alone satisfy my ambitions - and frankly, things have really stalled out over the last year.
My life has gotten worse in most ways - my social life being the one big exception, thanks to some great friends I’ve made here in Arizona.
As I’ve found myself among many excellent friends and mentors - including a ton of guys with weird brains like mine, who are almost infinitely more successful in terms of health, finance, & romance, I feel something between inspired and jealous.
“How do I get where they have? What do I need to do differently?”
I’ve made it my new mission to figure out the answer to that question.
If I can piece together a great life for myself - one full of excitement and love and joy and purpose - I’ll be able to advise and assist other young men in doing the same.
I know many of you are here to learn more about my plans for Loving County and how you might join. I promise you, I won’t take it personally when hundreds of you unsubscribe after seeing this.
If you want to come along with me on this journey of personal growth and self-improvement, I’d love to have you. The newsletter continues below, but if this is where we part ways today - I want you to know that I love you - and that you matter.
I Got Engaged
One thing I don’t talk about much online is that I already have “rizzed em with the ‘tism” quite a big. I was in a long term relationship with a really wonderful woman for about a year and a half - and we were very briefly engaged to be married.
Our engagement was short, pathetic, and shameful (for me). I loved her dearly, but I allowed Andrew Tate and his “manosphere” ilk talk me out of committing to this marvelous woman, simply because she wasn’t as conventionally beautiful as one of the countless models I saw out and about in New York City, where we lived at the time.
Mind you, I was no adonis myself then, as now. I was an overweight, socially awkward, and recently fired man. She was probably out of my league, to be frank, but…
I didn’t understand that. I saw dating her as “settling” and believed it’d kill my potential for growth and success if I stayed with her - or especially - married her.
But I was conflicted. She’d been nothing but good to me the entire time we were together. I can’t think of a single instance, looking back, that she was ever cruel or even particularly impatient. The first thing she said after I got let go from my job on wall street is that she would stick with me no matter what.
One day after I’d been fired, and a day after telling her I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay with her, I committed a truly heinous crime…
